There are many things in your being that seem unpleasing to you and in the eyes of the others that make you look like an outcast in your own society or environment. The Holy Spirit is one Who can transform you. The first step
to be taken is to bare your heart and spirit before the Holy Spirit. He searches the heart, but you have to make is open to him as a sign of willingness to work with Him and then, accept His guidance as to the part of your life and talk to the Holy Spirit about it, in continuing prayer.
If by talking with Him you can really tell Him that you will change this or that according to His guidance then you have already begun the path of liberation. You simply need to keep asking each day and begin taking small steps to change.
Do not be discouraged if you fall again. That may happen until you convince yourself that it is better to live in a new way and be comfortable with that new life. To motivate you to take those steps, it is good that you ask honestly: “What do I want to grow in me? Where do I want to go? What lifestyle do I want to achieve?”
But it is also indispensable that you ask the Holy Spirit for light so that He can help you to recognize what you should be. No one knows better than He what each of us has to become, that unique, unrepeatable identity that no one can copy. That is why it is very healthy to stop and ask Him for the light to see who he really is and who one should become.